"You don't know how much you'll miss someone until they're too far away."
Feels like I'm told that every time, yet, I don't ever learn. Over the summer, I was suppose to go visit my friends for simply two weeks, and spend the rest of the summer with my mother, that wasn't the case though. I ended up spending 3 weeks with my mother and two entire months with my friends. Makes me seem like an awful daughter, someone who would rather put her friends over her mother, right? I know, it may seem like that, but that's not the case, you see to begin with my mother and I, don't have the best relationship. You would expect we would, given the fact that all we have is each other, but sadly no. This summer I saw it as a way to get away first from my mother's family, whom I've been living with the last year, second to see my friends whom I've been missing, and thirdly to enjoy my freedom and in a way abuse it.
To begin with my mother's family is very different from my mother, and after spending an entire year living with them, celebrating holidays their way, and taking in drama after drama, one simply has to take a break from them. For one, they seem like your typical, average happy family, but it's all a lie, everyone is so judgmental. Turn your back and you better believe someone is snickering gossip about you. "Que hay la miraste lo que traiva, y por dios santo su modo es muy sangron", someone all of a sudden will be saying. Also, the holidays, damn is if full of tamales. Okay, I got nothing against tamales, but seriously there are other dishes one can make during the holidays! Like stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes with gravy, smooked ham, pumpkin pie, meat loaf, blueberry muffins, cookies and decorating them for each holiday. The drama, if that's not a good reason to get away then I don't know what is. For instance, before I left for some reason my cousin decided to splash beer on my hair which brought us to creating a scene at a party. Doors slammed here and there, ugly stares, sarcastic comments, and rudeness poured down the walls.
I hadn't seen or spend time with my friends for a year which in a way made me depressed, so that's why I also decided to get away. Never before had I gone an entire year without seeing my friends. They had always been there for me, like I had been there for them. I had so much to let out and share, but it was impossible to fill them in when we were miles away. A few where still back home, and some of them were at college a couple miles away from home. It was our first year of college so it was hard to keep up with each other by calling, texting, or video chatting. The only way to actually get each other to sit an talk was to go back to Oregon, otherwise I wasn't going to be able to see them.
I visualized this summer as a way to enjoy freedom, without having a parent 24/7 by my side. I went where I wanted, whom I wanted with, and cam home whenever I wanted. I lived life, I did things I never though i would do, and things that i'm regretful of, but that's all part about living. You can't learn if you haven't messed up to learn from those mistakes. I ate, I loved and I lived. I messed around with the wrong person, for one he was my friend, second he had a girlfriend, and third I fell for him even when I swore to myself I wouldn't. Then I messed up with someone else simply to make my friend jealous. I played a puzzling game. There's nothing wrong with that, but you should learn when it's time to get back into reality. So I did that, when I came back to Cali I settled back down, drama free, better communication with my mother, and simply seeing life with a different perspective and not letting the fact that my friends and mother are far away get to me and make fall into depression. Now and then I wander off into the sweet memorize of an unforgettable summer, I can't deny that.
In the end this summer, served me as a life lesson that has brought my mother and I closer. I had the courage to tell her the mistakes I made over the summer, I cleared up some of my emotions, and realized that it's about time me and her start communicating better as mother and daughter.
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