What if I choose this path I'm taking?
If I take this path I'll have to undertake criticism of friends, family, and everyone I've ever met and will meet. I'll give up the opportunity of bonding with another family. I'll give up my freedom, some of my dreams, my way of being, myself.
Not only will I bring shame to myself, but my mother and any children I give birth to. It's not that I fucked up, but I chose the wrong person. I went for the forbidden Fruit.
I can still back out, but that will not only cost my heart, but it will cost the heart of another person. Another person who's been hurt a lot due to the.fact that he gives his heart.all the time and the other person simply use him. I don't want that, I don't want to be that. I don't want to be another heartbreaker.
That urge, that overwhelming flood of sadness it's here. It's awaiting for me to break, I'm from seconds of tearing. I can't let it win, it can't. Crying right now would be embarrassing. I hate these tears behind my eyes simply waiting to burst out.
He sees me, he knows me, better than what I know myself. His stare into my eyes it brings chills down my spine. There's nothing I can hide, he sees everything through my eyes. My eyes they're traders into my soul, my past, present and future.
I love that he sees me, he understand the pain I have inside. I love that he loves me for me. I love how he knows that sometimes I feel alone, that I feel like I have no one, but that he promises that I will always have him. That he will always be there for me. I love that he loves me more than what I've ever loved myself.
We all have the capability to kill if we let our demons take control. Sometimes our thoughts are a tad twisted. Sometimes we may feel a bit insane, but it's okay, until we want to act out our fantasies.
Honest, be honest, honesty is the best policy, haven't we heard that at some point? In my opinion it's the most hypocritical phrase in this lunatic world. Everyone is always nagging children to be honest, but let's face it we are simply teaching our children hypocrisy. No one is honest, and when a child catches a parent in a lie, then they pull the sometimes little lies are alright in order to avoided someone's suffering. So when exactly should not being honest be considered the right thing to do??
I swear I've been here before, a picture i've painted before. I'm here again, in a puddle of colors.
surrounded by a distinct shades off browns, blues, whites,red, they all have a face, but not a name. Some of them , I see constantly, others not really. To each others eyes we are strangers,unimportant, because we all come and go, no one promises to stay.
You get on, but there's no good morning, or a simple hello. Only those who know each other dare to speak, the rest, our mouths open, but no words come out.
I sit, as the rythem of music flows threw my ears, and lyrics spill into my brain. Listening, but not.
Outside, the same house, signs, stores, and school, all flash by like an old film. The weather is what changes, but even then, that remains the same.
