It's hard to tell when someone actually means they're "SORRY" when you're light has been blinded. Sometimes it's hard to keep myself together and not start screaming like a lunatic, " ARE YOU REALLY FUCKING SORRY, OR ARE YOU SIMPLY SAYING THAT CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANNA HEAR?". How am I suppose to believe someone they're sorry, when sorry is something that's so over used now in days. Sorry, is suppose to be said and mean that you will never again to what you did again. It's suppose to mean regret, guilt, but now in days people say "Sorry" like it's a "Hello".
Long ago, someone once said, "sorry, will you please forgive me?", but they didn't mean what they said, all they wanted is to gain my trust again so they could stab me in the back when I least expected it. It's not that I don't wanna believe people that I love when they say I'm sorry, the fact is that my trust for the word sorry is something that I have to question. But how can I expect people to believe my sorry, when I won't believe theirs?
Why do I always end up hear,is there no hope of ever escaping my fears? Is this what I have to live with the rest of my life? Do I have to keep fearing these kaleidoscope of dreams? It's funny how my fears take me down with out an actual physical fight. I wish I can go to place and for once in my life call it home. A place where I can curl up in a ball and let it out without having those around me think I'm such an emotional mess. I remember back when I was only a child, being taught is all I was; I took the punches, the bruises, all with my head held high. I never let anyone see me down.
I'm so sick falling apart and crawling back up again, I'm so sick of playing a game I know I'm not going to win.
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