Monsters

Don't touch me.
Don't make me think you care.
I'm sure there's a caring bone in your body, but I'm sure you don't care about me.
You make me feel like crap, you make me regret everything I once shared with you, you make me feel disgusted about myself, you make me remember my fears, you make me feel really small, you make feel worthless, used, unimportant, you make me wanna to regret still living, ever being born, you make me want to.disappear.

You say you care, but there lies, you us me, you step all over me, you manipulate me with your words. You tell me what I wanna hear, you make me feel like you do actually care, but you don't.  All the.damage you have done started the moment I told you about my past. I ran away to escape what I feared, what was making me feel to not live, what made me question why I should even live, but I simply fell into a deeper hole. You make me hate myself, regret ever moving. Honestly, still living in fear feels like it would of been better than living in a house where I have to lie, feel disgusted, feel like I have no respect for myself or anyone in this house. You make me ache.
You make me cry.
Whatever happened to that little boy I once knew, the boy who I though I could trust, who I liked being around, who didn't hurt me emotionally, who didn't lie??

I can't even hug you without fearing you, I can't tell you anything without thinking twice.

Everything you've done is so.wrong, but yes I have the blame too, I'll give you that. I'm not an incident victim either. I'm tried, I'm trying to do things right but how can I when, you scare me. I do what you say cause I picture him, I remember the pain he would cause if I didn't do what I was told.